I really hemmed and hawed about posting this as a blog. It isn’t 100% about writing, but my mental clarity and emotional state have everything to do with how much or how well I write. It certainly impacts my productivity.

70% of my time, I am okay. I am what anyone would consider “normal”. I have a stable level of anxiety, I am productive and get my stuff done. The other 30% of my day, I am overwhelmed. I feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest. No productive moment occurs during these 30%. I also feel uncontrollable amounts of emotional pain. All linked to loss, and grief.

Everyone knows that grief is a monster that rears its head whenever it wants. It can be as simple as a lucky penny, or a whiff of a familiar scent. Grief is normal and expected. It only becomes problematic when it consumes your mind and impedes your ability to get your work done.

Well it happened.

The pinnacle of all of this occurred this Fall. I was sitting in a hotel room and two friends had to intervene because my mental fortitude and stability had crashed and crashed to a place I hadn’t visited in a very long time. I felt like I was consumed by a dark hole with no way out. Everything served as a massive trigger. Sitting in a Starbucks would make me feel like I was dying. Airports, airplanes, malls, and classrooms (I teach.) were all triggers for overwhelming, soul crushing anxiety.

Yes. I saw professionals. I asked for help. But it took a lot for me to get there. Even now, I am resistant to therapy. In my day job, its what I do. So words like PTSD, anxiety, depression, cognitive dissonance, stressor, triggers…. yea…. no. How is it that a professional in the field is struggling with all of the above? (Very big pill to swallow.)

Well, I do. I haven’t found my perfect therapy person yet. Shoot, I hate that I can see what they’re trying to do. I certainly am still refusing to go to group, but I am asking for help and I am getting it. Don’t be me…. don’t be stubborn.

So what does this have to do with writing?

Well, its been a huge block in the flow of creativity. Some people do best when their “angst” level is high. I don’t. I get consumed by the angst. Now that things are simmering down to manageable levels, I am writing. I am writing warm fuzzy feelings.

And writing makes me feel good. ❤

Behind the Scenes: Abounding Love

Hello beautiful people. If you haven’t been a part of the fun cover reveal of my first novella, I want to first introduce you to the cover. To be honest? I can’t believe this is my book’s cover. My team is absolutely incredible.

AL2

This is a fictitious story inspired by my friend’s love story. He lost his battle to pancreatic cancer in May and this was a grief project for me. I miss him dearly but the memories, words and thoughts he left behind will forever stay with me, and hopefully now with you. Literally, a piece of my heart is in these pages. I’ve said it before and I will always say it.

To my extraordinary team, wow. I can’t even put into words how grateful I am for you. To Cat and Melissa, my PA extraordinaire, to my design team, starting with CJC Photography’s image, and TE Black Designs Cover Design. Then every single person who has held my hand through this, has offered an encouraging word and has sent me your love while I processed through the loss and the words, thank you.

The exciting and less mushy news is that the book is already on pre-order on Amazon.

♡ ♡ Pre-Order Links ♡ ♡
US: http://amzn.to/2tQHyA9
UK: http://amzn.eu/jeUY4G6
CA: http://a.co/5JD9BoT
AU: http://amzn.to/2tTiaYL

I hope you check it out and get a glimpse of my writing voice. Pursuing Hope is to come in the Fall with a different take!

New Blog Feature: Author Spotlight

I have been having a blast getting to know some awesome authors and I think it would be great that you guys get to know them too.

I am starting a new Author Spotlight feature on the blog and Facebook page. They will be featured on the page and on the blog for one week, twice a month (second and 4th or last week of the month). A blog interview, book teasers, giveaways (all up to the author of course), and just all around some fun with the authors you love.

If you are an author or know an author interested in being in the Author Spotlight click here.

 

Spotlight
Image source

 

My Reading Corner: I read because…

This is my reading corner. I put my feet up and travel to a new world. As I write, I cherish reading even more. I realize how much love and effort it takes to make those worlds happen.

As I read a new book, I realize how much I love this. I love reading and meeting new characters. I love escaping my own mind to another. 

Show me your reading corner, or send a kudos to your favorite author!

To all my authors who treat me to an amazing adventure, thank you!

Until the next post – Tata!
❤ Fiona

First Book Update: Draft Complete – Now Revisions, Revisions, Revisions!

It is official. I have completed my first draft of my first book: Pursuing Hope: Part 1. It has been a definite pleasure to get the first part of Chad and Hope’s story out on paper. I am finding revising to be just as fun.

This story comes from the heart, and I know it needs to be heard. How and what needs to change or added is where I am trying to figure out now. I am doing my first round of revisions and then handing this baby off to 5 beautifully qualified beta-readers. I am truly honored to have them on my team.

I hope you guys will meet them in my blog very soon.

For now —

I leave you this beauty I found on : http://www.rinchupeco.com

keepcalm-423x494

 

Until the next post, tata for now!

 

❤ Fiona

When your story is a reflection of someone’s reality…

I am nearing the half way point of writing my first book. I can’t believe how this story has developed. It started with a simple idea about a sweet love story, which has developed into an idea for a series to benefit one of my favorite organizations. (Because I haven’t officially approached the organization in which I want to benefit, I will withhold the name until approved.)

This military romance is a story from my heart, as a reflection of conversations over coffee, wine, beer and many tears with friends who live this life. They face so many challenges which are not limited to: combat, combat loss/injury, PTSD, military and family conflict and family balance. As a result, I am doing my best to reflect the gravity of these issues with as much sensitivity as possible.

chekhov-moon

The military life isn’t all bad. That much I know. I want to do this part of their life justice too. The commitment comes with benefits that I am convinced that one can’t find as a civilian. The depth of camaraderie, faith, loyalty and discipline developed in the lives of my friends is insurmountable. I want to reflect this too. I am blessed to experience this life with them.

I don’t think there are enough words to do my friends’ life and commitment justice but with their support and love I press forward with my words.

Thank you everyone for your constant support and I look forward to sharing this very sweet story-series with you soon!
Until the next post – tata!
❤ Fiona